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Interim Agreements: A Step to a Final Settlement

Interim agreements are agreements that determine certain terms before the parties sign a comprehensive separation agreement. Some of the topics that may be covered by these kinds of agreements could be: how to handle the sale of a house; support and parenting plans; a provision that marital assets stop accumulating as of a certain date; and arranging for the disposition or purchase of a particular asset. Read the rest of Clare's article for more information on interim agreements. 

Leveraging the Experts: Building on the Best

One of the many qualities I like about the members of the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation (NYSCDM) is that they make ongoing learning and education a career-long priority. Throughout the year, our members come together at various educational events including conferences, symposia, peer groups and webinars to learn new strategies and methods to help couples who are separating and divorcing.

Divorce mediators are specially trained, neutral third parties that help couples by using a voluntary settlement process that gives families the option to plan their futures rationally, and in an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual respect. Divorce mediators help couples can reach agreements that are custom-made and make the most sense for families.

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Mediation for Couples Separated, but Never Married

More and more frequently, I am getting calls from couples who have decided to call it quits after living together for many years, but who never actually married. This trend has been happening in European countries for many years and now seems to be more prevalent in the US, though in a less outspoken way.

Mediation offers the best possible place for separating non-married couples, because it gives them a platform to explore separating their assets. Read the rest of Jennifer's article to learn more.

Second Marriages: Why a Prenuptial Agreement is Wise

As we get older we’re supposed to get wiser. In fact, I would rank increased wisdom at the very top of the benefits of aging. So why do so many people enter their second or even third marriages ignoring what they know? The statistics prove these marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages.

If you’ve been divorced before, you know what you don’t want from a future divorce: You don’t want the process to take forever and be expensive. You don’t want to have little control over the process. You don’t want to end up hating your ex-spouse. A thoughtfully negotiated prenuptial agreement can help you avoid all of this by making it clear what financial expectations each spouse has during the marriage and what the outcome will be if the marriage ends.

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Creating an Effective Parenting Plan: Considerations and Questions for Parents

The divorce process is an emotional time. Tensions surrounding a parenting plan may mount even when both parents prioritize the needs of the children.  Responsiveness, stability, and practicality are significant factors in developing a parenting plan. As parents begin to develop a parenting plan, the need for flexibility is also very important in creating options that consider the child first. 

The parenting agreement, in many ways, establishes the foundation for the children and their parents in moving forward with the new family structure. An effective parenting plan maximizes the child’s emotional security.  It also needs to work well for the child and the parents and grow with the child.

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A Decision Based on Emotions Can Hurt Everyone!

I recently met with a couple who wanted to hear about my divorce mediation services. During the meeting Maria*, the wife, related how she had decided a year earlier that the marriage was over and had left the house. Her husband, Howard*, expressed that he was not in favor of a divorce and wanted Maria to return home. However, she was committed to ending the marriage and suggested that they mediate the terms of the divorce rather than hire separate attorneys and litigate the matter.

Read the rest of Dan's article to learn what happened next. (*Names have been changed.)

A Painful Plea from a Child of Divorce

 

Many couples going through divorce have to make huge efforts to protect their children from their conflict. Unfortunately, once in awhile, the stress is so high that their emotions get the better part of them, and the child gets pulled into their drama. I worked with a family who unfortunately continued to have financial issues after their divorce. They shared with me a letter that their son sent to them from college, begging them to stop their bitter arguments against each other. As you will see, he was willing to sacrifice his education for a cheaper alternative, just to end their conflict.

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