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It is a process
in which a trained mediator serves the couple by assisting them in
decision-making around all divorce related matters: child support, custody,
spousal maintenance, equitable distribution, taxes, insurance, etc. The
mediator does not make decisions for the parties but rather helps them make
their own decisions. The result is more satisfying for the parties and
generally a creates a better adherence to the terms of the agreement.
A divorce mediation can be what the couples chooses it to be. It is the
mediators job to think of each family as unique and to help the couple sort
out the needs of everyone involved, including the couple, their children, and
even, at times, the grandparents. The parties can mediate a portion of the
divorce issues, leaving the remainder for their attorneys to sort out, or they
can determine all issues that comprise the terms of a divorce/separation
agreement.
Before signing any legal papers, it is strongly advised that each party
consult with his/her own attorney for review of the decisions before signing
the final documents. However, this review is far less expensive to the parties
and can save considerable time and emotional turmoil. If the parties want to
consult with an attorney during the mediation proces, that is also a very
acceptable. If a party is uncertain as to his/her rights and feels more
comfortable with an attorney's advice, then it would be highly recommended.
Although the focus is more on needs, interests, and concerns, at no time do
mediators want their clients to feel they are giving up any of their rights.
Most mediations cost about half of what a litigated uncontested divorce would
cost. Contested divorces are ofcourse considerably higher and reach into the
six figures. Each mediator has his/her own fee structure and some even have
sliding scales. It is advisable to interview several before making your
decision as to who to use. However, fees should not be the only determining
factor since a more experienced mediator may have a higher hourly rate but may
be far more efficient in terms of time.
Mediation is a profession and discipline unto itself. It is not therapy nor is
it legal counsel. The individual you choose should be trained and have
extensive experience as a mediator. Appropriate questions to ask are:
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