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Leaving the House Before a Divorce Agreement Is Reached Can Be a Mistake

A spouse leaving the house is often one of the reasons couples wind up in court. Even if the two of you have talked about things and believe you have an agreement worked out with the bills and the children, it is not uncommon for misunderstandings to arise that lead to a court action being started.

Things often get tense between you and your spouse when you are getting a divorce. Because of this tension, it is tempting to want to remove yourself from the situation by leaving the house. By doing that, however, you are leaving yourself open to a lot of financial and emotional damage.
Read the rest of Dan's article to learn the reasons why you should stay in your house while you reach an agreement with your spouse or partner. 

Divorcing Parents and Their Special Needs Children

I just finished a mediation session with a divorcing couple who have a special needs child, in addition to two typically-developing children. While divorces involving special needs children are often complicated and involve more issues than the “normal” divorce, I find helping these families to be especially rewarding.

Read the rest of Susan's article to learn how mediation can help families with special needs.

Banish the Guilt

The process of ending a marriage can bring up a range of feelings, including anger, frustration and even grief. One emotion that often catches us by surprise is guilt, and it’s the most unproductive and insidious of them all. In addition to all of the regrets regarding the marriage itself, many of us feel remorse for the divorce’s impact on the children. 

Although guilt is a perfectly normal reaction to ending a marriage, it’s one that many can get stuck on, and there’s frankly nowhere to go with it. Mistakes were made on both sides, but focusing on the past will only impede your ability to move on. What’s needed is a shift in perspective.

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Icy Wife? Let Go and Heal…

At a recent traffic light, I pulled up next to a man whose car had the intriguing license plates “ICY WIFE”. Now as a divorce mediator, my first thought was “Wow, here’s a guy who wants to, in a very public way, carry a chip on his shoulder for as long as those plates stay on his car”. My second thought was that, by continuing to broadcast his opinion of his ex-spouse as “ICY WIFE” via these license plates, he might be having a hard time moving on with his life.

Read the rest of Trish's article to learn the importance of getting passed the pain and anger in order to feel better.  

Celebrating Mother’s Day After Separation or Divorce – Some Helpful Tips

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are likely to be two of the most emotional days of the calendar for divorced parents. Sadly, sometimes divorced parents find themselves in a battle for time with their children on Mothers or Fathers Day. With Mother’s Day being just around the corner, think about your children and what behavior will help them have the best experience instead of turning your Mother’s Day into a power struggle, battlefield, or statement about who is the better parent. 

Read the rest of Renée's article to learn some helpful hints for coping with Mother's Day and Father's Day. 

A Decision Based on Emotions Can Hurt Everyone!

I recently met with a couple who wanted to hear about my divorce mediation services. During the meeting Maria*, the wife, related how she had decided a year earlier that the marriage was over and had left the house. Her husband, Howard*, expressed that he was not in favor of a divorce and wanted Maria to return home. However, she was committed to ending the marriage and suggested that they mediate the terms of the divorce rather than hire separate attorneys and litigate the matter.

Read the rest of Dan's article to learn what happened next. (*Names have been changed.)

Don’t Litigate a Divorce Because Your Spouse Had an Affair!

I often work with couples where one of them has had an affair. When this is the case, it is common for the other spouse to feel hurt and angry. In addition, he/she often does not trust the spouse that had the affair. While the affair may have damaged the marriage beyond the point of repair, it is how the spouse that has been cheated on responds that determines how well the couple and their children get through the resulting divorce.

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What are the 4 Elements of Divorce?


When most people are going through a divorce they don’t think about the various elements that come into play during this difficult process. They are often overwhelmed with emotions (anger, resentment and sadness, among them) that come up during this extremely difficult time of their lives. They often become stuck in the disputed details of their lives, and are unable to see the Big Picture of what is in play and thus understand the essential interaction between the 4 elements of divorce. Those elements are:

- The Legal Divorce
- The Financial Divorce
- The Children's Divorce
- The Emotional Divorce 



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